Full Throttle

As part of the media Tusnami following Danica Partick’s Twin Ring Motegi IndyCar win was speculation Patrick might be in line for an F1 test in the future.

That was fueled by a reporter who asked if she had any thoughts of joining the F1 Circus in the future.

Word of the exchange filtered down to Honda’s F1 Chief Executive Nick Fry who said the team hadn’t instigated anything, “but if Danica wanted to be test a driver then we’d be more than happy to talk about it.”

Now word has filtered out current NASCAR wunderkind Kyle “The Desperado” Busch also would like to add to his resume by testing an F1 machine this coming off-season.

Busch said part of a test session would include taking a Cup car to Japan for an exhibition drive. “Just kind of run around there at either Twin Ring (where IndyCar runs) or something like that and show them what the Cup cars are like and try to get in a Formula One car, too.”

Barring any complaints from Mr. Danica at first glance this may be a set-up for a Japanese date for a duel test for both drivers.

It would seem so, but wait, let me grab my bucket of frosty cold ice-water.

They both may very well get their respective tests but it won’t be as Busch envisions it.

Danica’s IndyCar is powered by Honda and any interest on the part of F1 Honda in testing her is based on that fact.

Busch drives a Toyota. Not a problem you say?

But it is, and a major one that indicates Busch suffered a case of oral Montezumas Revenge when a microphone was stuck in his face and didn’t think through what he’s dreaming of.

Twin-Ring Motegi was built and is owned by Honda, need I say more?

With the fierce rivalry between the two Japanese F1 squads there is no way in hell Busch will lap the oval or the road course at Twin-Ring in a F1 Toyota and Nick Fry would sooner give up someone’s first born man-child before he places The Desperado in a F1 Honda machine to lap Motegi.

That’s not to say Busch won’t or can’t get a test, but it will have to be at Toyota owned and operated Fuji Speedway current home of the Japanese round in the F1 world championship.

Of course there is one other option. You could put these two firecrackers together in their respective marquees and turn them loose on the neutral circuit of Suzuka. (Thanks to Tom in the comment section you woke me up to the fact Suzuka merged with Twin-Ring in 2006 so in fact is owned and operated by Honda.

In that light I’d vote for Autopolis for a neutral site of a joint testing session.

Autopolis has a rather strange history but can claim one of F1’s elites as a winner there. Autopolis hosted a round of the World Sportscar Championship in 1991 which was won by Michael Schumacher and Karl Wendlinger in a Mercedes.

A joint test would have the additional benefit of driving F1 Supremo Bernie Ecclestone, a/k/a The Hobbit, nuts seeing Danica in an F1 machine.

After her fourth place showing in the 2005 Indy 500 Bernie made an assessment about women racing with men that created a major controversy saying, “You know I’ve got one of those wonderful ideas … women should be dressed in white like all the other domestic appliances.”

Ever the nitwit that guy Bernie and is the reason if I had my say any test by these two would take the form of the neutral venue option just on the oft chance Ecclestones head would explode. Metaphorically of course, no one would actually like to see any harm come to The Hobbit. (except a few million F1 fans)

Technorati Tags: Formula One, Motorsport, Nick Fry, Auto racing, Bernie Ecclestone, Twin Ring Motegi, Fuji Speedway, Kyle Busch, NASCAR, Sprint Cup

And the question, as posed in an email that landed in the Hallowed Halls of the Full Throttle Press Room (Bathroom, truth be told but keep it under your helmet) is; “Why haven’t you picked a NASCAR All-Star winner or anything else on the weeks events?”

“Who cares” was the response then and now. But lets look into why a bit further.

Everything from the opening event of the week until the drop of the green flag for the Open should be called The Shamesty Presented by Hokey Hokum.

Fake from start to finish, NASCAR and with no small influence from Bruton Smith, wanted to mimic the all star events of the stick and ball sports. And that’s what they got.

You want to mimic an NBA slam dunk contest? OK, Bruton and Humpy delivered with something called a burnout contest. Thats got to be worst idea since some Christian thought he could beat a pack of lions. Or was it the other way around? Whatever, you get the idea who cares?

You want a NASCAR version of the MLB home run hitting contest that allows the sluggers to do nothing but slug?

Check that off NASCAR’s list of mimicry, it’s called a pit crew challenge that allows the unsung and mostly unknown members of the pit crews do what they do best, fling jacks, slosh gas and spin lugnuts. All under 14 seconds if it were real, but that’s the rub, it’s not so who cares it’s just another reality show.

NASCAR, apparently wanted to mimic baseball’s fan voting on All-Star lineups, and they did by allowing fans to spam a poll, er… I mean vote online for one driver to be entered into the All-Star line-up that otherwise wasn’t eligible.

Someone wake me up when a Fan Fav voted in comes close to winning the All-Star event. Until then, ho-hum, more reality show biz.

I’m not here just to bury Caesar, so to speak, but offer a “real” reality show.

Take those professional pit crew members and replace them for the Pit Crew Challenge. With each ticket purchased by fans to enter the speedway comes a number, call it The Pit Crew Lottery number if you want.

The day before the event numbers would be drawn and winning ticket holders would compete in the Fan Pit Crew Challenge using the same format used by the professionals now.

You want reality, you got it. TV reality that is, which really isn’t, but the end result would be Comedy Gold.

Young, old, even a couple pot-bellied members of NASCAR’s old guard fan base - old guard meaning from the days of Smokey Yunick and Fred Lorenzen - might end up as part of the event.

It can’t get more real than that.

As for the second part of the original question, who will win the All-Star event?

I haven’t the foggiest idea, I gave up my Nostradamus Hat long ago when my percentages fell below the Mendoza Line, and this event is always a crap shoot.

Considering it is a special week in the NASCAR season I’ll dust off the hat for this occasion and predict a car, presumably with 4 wheels (barring a last second “spin-to-win” maneuver resulting in a three-wheeled winner) with multiple colors and multiple logos adorning each and every square inch of the vehicle and enveloped in a cloud of smoke immediately after crossing the finish line (not the be confused with a burn out contest)!

Technorati Tags: NASCAR, Bruton Smith, Sports, Auto racing, Motorsports, Smokey Yunick, Fred Lorenzen, Sprint Cup

Hear ye, hear ye…

The National Stock Car Racing Commission has ruled on the appeals case of H.C. Sellers vs PCNA (Peoples Commissar of NASCAR Affairs, more commonly known as Brian France and various and sundry henchmen)

Surely you remember the case - it was the case that the misinformed and small minority of NASCAR Nation called LoonBats claim never happens - a case where a win is not a win when you cheat to gain that win.

Head Kangaroo, er… I mean Commission Chairman George Silbermann has ruled in favor of upholding the original penalty.

As a reminder the infractions were as follows: Section 12-4-A of the NASCAR Rule Book “Actions detrimental to stock car racing”; Section 12-4-Q “Any determination by NASCAR Officials that the car, car parts, components, and/or equipment used in the Event do not conform to NASCAR rules” and Section 20C-12.3C(7) “Shock absorber base valves will not be permitted: Right rear shock absorber had a base valve installed.”

For those not knowing what a base valve is there is an excellent option to find out what they are, how they work and why there are regulated.

The penalty as upheld is as follows: Suspension from the next three (3) NASCAR Camping World Series East Events. Suspension from the NASCAR Touring Series until June 11, 2008. Probation until December 31, 2008.

Court is adjourned.

Technorati Tags: NASCAR, Auto Racing, Brian France, Motorsports

There’s an interesting story out of the U.K. that is related to Max Mosley’s attempt at gaining financial restitution from NotW for invasion of privacy when they printed the nazi spank-fest featuring Mosley and five prostitutes.

Actor Hugh Grant just won a U.K. court judgment for invasion of his, Liz Hurley and her husband Arun Nayar and accepted £58,000 damages over photographs taken of them on holiday in the Maldives.

According to the BBC story the trio selected the islands strictly for the privacy and the seclusion the private resort claimed was available.

Two thoughts on this; 1. What the hell made these three think anywhere on the planet offered any type of seclusion when your at their level of star status, and 2. Why isn’t the the so called “private resort” held culpable? Looks from this distance they promised something they couldn’t deliver.

Anyway, I wonder what this says about The Littlest Pervert’s case against the NotW because of the obvious privacy connection in the two cases?

I suspect a lot, but I say that knowing little on the issue within the U.K. ither than they are much stricter than most places on the planet

Regardless of the final outcome of Mosley’s suit it should have little to do with the FIA decision considering his actions since the the story first broke. He’ continued to lie out his posterior and spin faster than a frog in a blender.

Funny thing is Mosley could learn something from Grant.

Hugh Grant was the toast of Tinseltown until he was hit by a scandal after his encounter with a Hollywood prostitute in 1995, but now he has been embraced by U.S. audiences because of the stylish way he handled the issue.

Grant said on Larry King Live at the time, “I could accept some of the things that people have explained, ’stress,’ ‘pressure,’ ‘loneliness’ - that that was the reason. But that would be false. In the end you have to come clean and say ‘I did something dishonorable, shabby and goatish.’”

Mosley could learn something, but he’s too bull-headed, stubborn, drunk with the power his position affords him and just plain stupid.

Technorati Tags: Max Mosley, News of the World, FIA, Formula One, Moslay Scandal

Remember when a Czech ally of Max “The Littlest Perv” Mosley came out in full support of him and claimed it was all a grand conspiracy perpetrated by Mclaren’s Ron Dennis?

Well, I guess the black helicopters, Area 51 visitors and Ron Dennis theories are all in the same category, the machinations of a deluded mind.

Radovan Novak, general secretary of the Czech Automobile Association, who made the original charge against Dennis has contacted Mclaren stating in essence, “opps, sorry, my bad can I have a do over?”

Mclaren has posted the following on their website:

“Mr Novak has asked us to make it clear that he does not believe that either McLaren or (team boss Ron) Dennis were involved in the events referred to and that the remarks are not representative of his views, “Mr Novak has apologised for the misunderstanding and McLaren and Mr Dennis have thanked him for this gracious and swift reaction.”

Lude, conspira, recognosie?

O conspiracy!
Sham’st thou to show thy dangerous brow by night,
When evils are most free? - Julius Caesar (2.4.6)

Technorati Tags: Ron Dennis, McLaren, Formula One, McLaren Mercedes, Radovan Novak, Ferrari, FIA, Czech Automobile Association

Listen up Bucko, tired of all the hype surrounding NASCAR?

Tired of a winning driver’s interview going something like this: “I’d like to thank Guido’s Leg Breaking Service without whom I’d never make it out of the track alive and Luciano Loansharks and the Ernest Gallo Winery who provides the “fuel” for this entire winning race team.”

Are you tired of the incessant race coverage that interrupts the TV commercials? (actually no, that’s a myth that refuses to die a natural death, there’s less now than in 2000 buts that’s a story for another rant.)

Well, I have news for you, be careful of what you wish for.

The day may soon becoming when you look up from your high priced seat at your favorite NASCAR venue and see an advertisement in the clouds.

Or, to be precise, you would see a Flogo.

A Flogo, produced in the heart of NASCAR Nation by a company located in Alabama is made with a machine that produces “tiny bubbles filled with air and a little helium.”

From that says owner and inventor of the process 4 foot “clouds” are formed in the shape of company logos and can be floated over a venue.

The Walt Disney Co. will use one of the machines next month to send clouds shaped like Mickey Mouse heads into the air at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Fla., former magician and developer Francisco Guerra said.

The mind reels with the possibilities.

And frankly if any of the NASCAR Suits get wind of this concept we all may be ready for a stay in a “hotel” with latex lined walls. If you get my drift.

Technorati Tags: NASCAR, Flogos, Auto Racing, Motorsports, Full Throttle

Thanks to a tip from Tomaso comes a story of Sarah Fisher’s efforts to field her own team at Indy this month.

Tomaso points to an Indy Star article by Bob Kravitz who thinks Fisher may need to contact a collection agency to get what has been promised to the fledgling team.

One company, Gravity Entertainment is located in Fort Lauderdale, Fla, the second is ResQ, a sports-drink company.

Yeah I know what you’re thinkin’ “not ANOTHER sports drink company!” But what are you gonna do, they don’t make weed killer that works on sports drink outfits.

Both companies have made contractual promises to Sarah Fisher and at this point those contracts haven’t been fulfilled.

In my efforts to trackdown background on the Kravitz piece I discovered Gravity Entertainment announced in January they would field a new NASCAR Sprint Cup team under the banner of Gravity Motorsports. Allegedly the new team will “begin operation immediately” with the intention to test the waters in early 2008 and plans “to debut later in the season.”

At this point I haven’t heard word one about any progress this alleged new team has made, alleged being the operative word.

Via the wonders of the internet and the many search abilities available zero, nadda, ZILCH turns up when looking for a reference to the team.

What it does turn up is a Gravity Motorsports that has been in operation since 2006 and “specializes in the sales and service of motorcycle and ATV parts and accessories.”

Confused?

Not as confused as the operators of Gravity Entertainment who couldn’t be bothered to do a cursory search to ensure a name chosen for their motorsport team wasn’t in use, and by all indications at this point, haven’t lived up to obligations made to Sarah Fisher.

Am I surprised a company that produced such “epic films” as Primal Scream and The Black Belt Club is falling down on the job? Not in the least.

That said, and moving on, is the case of ResQ energy drink’s commitment to Fisher.

Again referencing the Kravitz article he notes the company’s web site “features Fisher extolling its product and its commitment to racing.”

A quick look at it shows another sad case of a brand name owner, if not the entire company, not living up to obligations made.

In fact if you take Kravitz’ word for it the company “features Fisher extolling its product and its commitment to racing.”

He didn’t lie, but the ref is mighty thin gruel to say the least. The single reference is supposedly a link to Fisher’s web site and what appears to be her press release noting she’s “excited” to have ResQ on board as a sponsor..

But it isn’t, its a link to another ResQ website.

It’s also apparent Fisher has taken down both the original press release and any ref to the company on her sponsors page. (Yeah! You go girl!)

Funny how that works, you don’t pay your bills, you get the bums rush out of the paddock door, as it should be.

I’m tempted to flood both these scofflaws with letters asking what the hell, but I suspect they would be ignored and I would also imagine Sarah via some legal recourse, like a breech of contract suit, may have much better luck than I.

Even in the best of times finding multi-million dollar sponsorships is hard and time consuming work, and with current prices in today’s marketplace effecting everyone it’s that much harder.

Making a commitment and not living up to that contractual obligation is an entirely different kettle of fish and Fisher to her credit isn’t waiting with baited breath waiting for any checks “in the mail.”

“They keep saying they’re going to wire it tomorrow, soon, today, tomorrow — it’s a ‘check is in the mail’ kind of thing,” she said, standing in her garage as rain washed out qualifying. “They’re still saying they’re going to pay us, but at this point, it’s hard for me to believe it anymore.”

It’s a pretty sad state of affairs on what Kravitz is calling the other side of the “Danica Divide” of sponsorship. A divide she’s trying to bridge through donations (pdf File) from interested fans of her and the sport.

That effort has paid some, albeit small, success at this point: “Look at this,” Fisher said Sunday, reaching into her jeans pocket to pull out a piece of folded paper.It was a personal check. From a fan. To Fisher for $100.

“I’ve gotten two or three today (Sunday),” she said, smiling.

I’ll say it again. A sad, sad state of affairs, made even more so when you see John Andretti walk into the paddock flush with cash and buy his way into a ride.

Technorati Tags: Auto racing, Sarah Fisher, Sarah Fisher Racing, IRL, IndyCar, Indy 500, Indianapolis 500

Come with me on a little journey as we span the stock car world that exists outside NASCAR Nation.

We start with NASCAR’s kissing cousin to the north and the Canadian Tire Series that starts it’s season this weekend at Cayuga Motor Speedway.

The track held a pre-season test on the 5/8 mile oval this past weekend that was attended by Brad Graham Motorsports shaking down their Dodge Avenger.

After what was a disappointing 2007 season in terms of on track performance, Brad Graham and the Full Throttle/Logel’s Auto Parts/Challenger Motor Freight team are working harder than ever to be ready for 2008.

(Hmmm, “Full Throttle” original indeed! No relation, but I am thinking of sendin’ them a bill.)

“Last season is gone and forgotten” said Brad Graham. “Can’t event see it in the mirror we’re so far past it and focused on what’s happening this season. Our team has another year of experience, Mike Knott my crew chief, Bill Dobson the chief mechanic and the rest of the guys are really pumped up to get going and get the Blue Demon car out”.

The 2008 NASCAR Canadian Tire Series racing season opens Saturday at Cayuga and will consist on thirteen events from coast to coast in Canada on ovals, temporary street circuits and road courses.

Had enough Canadian Bacon?

Good, because we’re switchin’ menu’s to Bacon and Cabbage by jumpin’ on a big silver bird to take in some hot stock car action in Northern Ireland, yes I said Ireland, at Ballymena Raceway.

STOCK RODS CLASS: Twenty-eight drivers contested the three Stock Rod events which served up the dramatic action fans have come to expect from this highly competitive class.

Freddie Laffin registered his first win of 2008 in the opening heat before World Champion Glenn Bell stamped his authority on heat two.

SALOON STOCK CARS: Jason Burns was the only driver to win more than one race on Friday evening. The Ballymena lad opened his account with victory in heat one and followed it up with another flag to flag success in the meeting final.

And there you have it, a short virtual trip around the stock car globe.

One final note: If you happen so see Kyle Busch in this Ballmena Raceway video you need a longer trip than what I just provided. Just ignore all those crashes and pit maneuvers they aren’t Busch, trust me.

Technorati Tags: NASCAR Canadian Tire Series, Auto racing, NASCAR, Motorsports, NASCAR Nation

In less than a fortnight the F1 Circus rolls into Monaco for one of, if not the most prestigious event on the world championship calender. The events long and gloried history may never again see a day like this years addition in what may come to be known as “M Day.”

The day Max “The Littlest Perv” Mosley steps from his Monaco residence and darkens the door of an F1 Paddock.

According to The Times a team principal told the paper his squad has been instructed to set-up an “informal scouting system” to warn of Mosley’s presence, something Times blogger Edward Gorman is calling the “Mosley avoidance strategies.”

“The safe majority of teams are considering what they should do about their important people in terms of interaction with the president of the FIA at Monaco,” another source told the Times and that “furtive conversations” on the issue were conducted last weekend in Turkey.

If that isn’t Comedy Gold I fail to see what is.

If reports are true 4,000 members of the media are accredited for the Monaco event I suspect it will be fairly easy to spot Mosley. Unfortunately his appearance will be The Story of the weekend and the media hoard will be drawn to him like flies to a steaming pile, which come to think of it is a pretty apt description all things considered.

Cross Posted @ F1 Rage!

Technorati Tags: Max Mosley, Formula One, Monaco, Politics, Mosley, F1 Full Throttle, F1 Rage

After Scuderia Toro Rosso team manager Massimo Rivola attended the recent MotoGP night race at Qatar’s Losail International Circuit he expressed concern over scheduling of F1’s first night event in Singapore.

Under the original schedule there would only have been one and a half hours of running in the dark before the night time qualifying session on Saturday.

He told autosport.com after that experience: “Personally I am not relaxed, let me put it like this. Honestly, I would like to test but it is not possible and too expensive to realise. I am sure it will be fine in the end, but there are still some points to discuss.

“The most important is that our schedule should be all over the night, rather than split between day and the night. The sunset in Singapore is at 7pm and at the moment the plan is to have first practice finish at 6pm and second practice to start at 8pm.”

Rivola’s concerns were reviewed by the F1 teams and the FIA with the resulting change in schedule and F1 teams were informed about the latest version of the timetable in Turkey last weekend

The new schedule is as follows:

Practice 1 Friday 19:00-20:30
Practice 2 Friday: 21:30-23:00
Practice 3 Saturday 19:00-20:00
Qualifying Saturday: 22:00-23:00
Race Sunday: 20:00

Autosport also understands that the Grand Prix Drivers’ Association (GPDA) is pushing for some kind of acclimatisation session on the track on the Thursday before the race – although whether this is in F1 cars or other machinery is not yet known.

Cross Posted @ F1 Rage!

Technorati Tags: Formula One, Losail International Circuit, Motorsport, Sports, Scuderia Toro Rosso, Auto Racing, Singapore Grand Prix, F1 Rage, Asian Motor Sports