Full Throttle

Say what you will about NASCAR, but Australian auto racing fans seem to have as much fun, if not more.

Take, for instance, next month’s Bathurst 1000, an annual weeklong event at Mount Panorama in New South Wales that draws upward of 30,000 fans who camp out around the race circuit each year.

Police are clamping down, however, on the amount of alcohol those fans can take into the area and have set up checkpoints to make sure everyone complies.

The limits?

Each fan can take in 24 cans of full-strength beer or 36 cans of light beer per day, or 24 cans of mixed drinks or one cask of wine per day, with no combinations allowed.

“Anyone who needs to drink more than 24 cans of beer in a day to have a good time is not welcome,” said a police official.

As I said, he’s never been to the infield at Talladega. On the other hand there’s something to be said about laying off liquor of the malt & barley kind. Objects don’t always appear as they are.

Oh… there was a race in Richmond Sunday.

And Jimmie Johnson staked his claim where there was once, as the “pundits” told it, only a Busch and an Edwards. I learned my lesson last year when he dropped 130 some points out during the Chase last year and I said he was finis.

Look where it got me.

Pondering… will NASCAR’s PC Police lower the boom on Dale Jr. for his string of expletives during the later laps?

Scott Steckly won the Pizza Pizza 300 at Barrie Speedway after taking the lead from Don Thomson Jr. on Lap 247 restart and led the final 54 laps to collect his fourth NASCAR Canadian Tire Series presented by Sirius Satellite Radio victory of the season.

After visiting Victory Lane three times in the first four races this season, Steckly (No. 22 Tow Truck in a Box/Erb Group Dodge) was held to the runner-up position four times over the next five events.

Steckly, out of Milverton, Ontario, was able to get away from Kerry Micks (No. 02 Beyond Digital Imaging Ford) over the race’s final two laps after a debris caution and beat him to the line by .372 seconds. Thomson (No. 4 Home Hardware Chevrolet) finished third after working his way through the field a few times on the night.
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Paulie Harraka finished the season at All American Speedway (AAS) with a flourish. The 18-year-old drove the No. 16 Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse Toyota to wins in both ends of the twin 50-lap features Saturday night and rallied to capture the track’s Late Model division championship.
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Maybe that should read, “de-Dodges” the NCTS, regardless, this figures.

As the weakest financially of Detroit’s automakers it’s hardly shocking news they are pulling the plug on factory support for what few NCTS teams receive it.

It sucks to be Bobby Hamilton Racing officials about now as its the only team receiving money from the manufacturer this season.

“There’s a lot of Dodge trucks, engines and parts out there, [teams] may choose to run them,” Dodge Motorsports senior manager Mike Delahanty said. “We just won’t be writing the checks to any teams.”

Indeed there is, but having cheaper parts and entire trucks on the market is far from the best way to compete with the Fords and Toyotas. Not to mention that Silverado that sits atop the point standings.

Related articles:

• Dodge won’t fund any Truck teams starting in ‘09
• Hornaday wins Truck race at Gateway International
• Hornaday picks up fourth Truck victory of season

If you’re a parent, as I am of two under age 13 girls, you’ll get the title reference right away.

If you’re not, or you’re too damn cheap to get cable and access to the Disney Channel, suffice it to say Hanna Montana is the teenage equivalent to say… Sarah Palin about now. It’s Montana all day, all the time.

However, if your a NASCAR fan the meteorological version of Hanna that currently swirls it’s way up the Eastern Seaboard is just as intrusive as her Pop Rock sister.

Both NASCAR events at Richmond this weekend have been postponed as the feeder bands of the storm moved across the Commonwealth of Virginia.

Both races will be run on Sunday, the Chevy Rock & Roll 400 Cup race is scheduled for 1 p.m. Sunday. (See, you really can stop rock and Roll!) The Nationwide Emerson 250 is set for 7 p.m. Sunday with both events shifting to one of the ESPN channels.

And can someone tell this guy to go get bent? (Oh wait, I think I just did!) Drivers have been fighting the rain Gods their entire careers this delay will have no measurable effect on them. A piece of advice, get yer-self some free show tickets and commiserate with your fellow psycho-scam-artist.

(Subtitled: “Here We Go Again!”)

According to the NASCAR press release the sanctioning body will debut the new NNS car during the first of two scheduled tests Monday and Tuesday, Sept. 8-9, at Richmond International Raceway.

Wednesday, Sept. 10, is set as the rain date which may be the only smart thing printed in the release given Hurricane Hanna roaring up the Eastern Seaboard at present.

For those with dusty memories the Half-Vast Staff™ of Full Throttle was at the forefront of criticism of the testing program NASCAR produced for CoT introduction in Sprint Cup. With some teams (yeah I’m pointing at you Jack) holding what amounted to a boycott, albeit a silent one vice public declaration, by just not showing up on many occasions.

Additionally, we were just as critical of the cars roll-out, forcing teams to compete with both versions of the Cup CoT in 2007 was nothing more than an exercise normally seen in governmental circles, “waste, fraud and abuse.” It did nothing but add additional cost to the teams and those it hurt most - the smaller one and two car operations - had the least ability to withstand the economic pressure.

When last heard NASCAR’s intentions are to have the NNS CoT debut in the last half of the 2009 season. As seen from the Robin Pemberton quotes below that seems to have been changed, proof even and old dog can learn new tricks I suppose. Or just proof they don’t want to risk being lambasted in public by owners and fans like the were during 2007.

“The goal of this test is for the manufacturers and participating teams to start laying a foundation for the transfer phase from the current car to the new car in the Nationwide Series,” said Robin Pemberton, NASCAR’s vice president of competition.

The cars will be on track in their current stages of development and the test data will be shared among the manufacturers, teams and NASCAR.

“We’re still in the process of approving the cars,” Pemberton said. “This wasn’t a quick process on the NASCAR Sprint Cup side and it won’t be with these cars. We’ve also been talking to teams and they’ve indicated they’d be better suited budget-wise to spend a full season building cars instead of a mid-year transition.

“We’ve had this style of chassis for more than two years in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series and many questions have already been answered,” he said. “In applying the new car to the Nationwide Series, we fully anticipate the teams to be as competitive and resourceful as possible throughout the developmental process.”

Kudos for apparently shit-canning the mid-year transition BS.

Also note that may be an indication the competition roll-out for NNS won’t be next year. Given NASCAR’s R&D facility, that at times is rather cartoonish, and the limited time between now and Daytona 2009 there’s no way in hell the original time-line will be met.

With luck NASCAR won’t make their other glaring mistake, if teams fail to show up for any of the test sessions they need to whip out the Ultimatum Dispatcher and lay it on the line.

Test or else.

Eventually, when near the final version of development, that ultimatum should come with this caveat: Test with as near a full field of cars as possible. If that means the R&D facility mass produce the car to take financial pressure off the much smaller NNS teams so be it. Just “get-R done” as the saying goes.

What remains to be seen is the actual car. Unless I’ve missed it no specifics beyond it not taking the form of the new generation Pony Cars entering the marketplace and general declarations it won’t have a wing are about all that has been published.

If anyone has seen something other than what I noted and the additional safety measures being part of the car drop a hint in a comment and I’ll update the post.

IN OTHER news you can lose: “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina Robby Gordon.” They’re not crying Robby, they’re just suing your marquee jumping butt.

If only to disprove I only point out the “down side” to Robby, not that his minions will believe it, Robby along with Rusty Wallace and the NASCAR Angels presented Army Spc. Josh Grant with his totally refurbished Ford F-150 pickup today.

Grant is an Army mechanic who was wounded by a roadside bomb in Iraq and is recuperating at the Warrior in Transition Unit at Fort Lee. NASCAR put the value of the work done on the 2004 truck at $20,000.

Both drivers took part in the filming of the presentation ceremony attended by Grant’s fellow soldiers and friends and family. The show will air on the The Hallmark Channel in October.

Technorati Tags: NASCAR, Nationwide Series, NNS CoT, RIR, Richmond International Raceway

To the best of my knowledge the employment line outside NASCAR’s world headquarters has been fairly short given the lack of job openings available. (Excluding crew chiefs & drivers whose jobs are always subject to being eliminated at the drop of a hat.)

However, given NASCAR’s latest pronouncement from… On High, I’m beginning to wonder if Cosmo G. Spacely may have a shot at a starting position.

It seems as though someone awoke from a deep sleep and decided to impose the current carb spacer reductions on NNS entries and apply them to all Craftsman Truck entries effective today. Henceforth all NCTS engines with a cylinder bore spacing of 4.470 inches or more must compete using the smaller tapered spacer used in NNS.

I know what you’re thinkin’, Mr. Spacely turned out sprockets at his most industrious orbital plant, but really, how much of a retooling would it take to go from sprockets to spacers? They both start out as a blank piece of flat metal of various compositions.

And hey, Cosmo G. could sub-contract some of the work out. Rumor has it Stewart-Haas Racing has on premises a butt-load of CNC machines that could turn out tapered spacers faster than NASCAR can issue mid-season rule changes.

But that is just a rumor.

And, let’s be honest. Look at the picture, Mr. Spacely epitomizes both in actions and appearance how NASCAR operates.

“We need one: A worker who’s total loyalty is to Spacely Sprockets NASCAR. And, of course, to me: President, CEO, and all-around sweetiepie. Two: someone expendable” - Cosmo G. Spacely.

He’ll fit right in.

UPDATE: Despite the “slime job” I gave NASCAR above they do, on occasion, get it right. The Commission just issued their ruling on the Gibbs NNS penalties and have rescinded the drivers probation given to Logano and Stewart. Look out the window, is there a Blue Moon?

Remember Twisted Sister?

No, not the old Cup car that resembled an arthritic snake after NASCAR body shops spent years twisting Ford, Chevy and Dodge bodies beyond any recognition.

No, I refer to the rock group Twisted Sister that sang “You Can’t Stop Rock an Roll?”

Well at this point, and it’s early in it’s lifespan and progress up the coast is slow, but Hanna may prove the songs lyrics false you can stop Rock and Roll [400].

Richmond International Raceway officials said yesterday they are monitoring Tropical Storm Hanna but the weekend’s NASCAR events, including the Chevy Rock & Roll 400 Saturday at 8 p.m., “are currently scheduled to run as planned.”

The last time a Saturday night race at RIR was rained out (the Crown Royal 400 on May 5, 2007), it started on Sunday at 1:15 p.m.

I’m betting the event runs Sunday, or later.

I tried, I really did.

In fact I burned up Google and the language conversion sites looking for correctly saying good-by in the Gaelic language. I turned up nothing so… in English: Good-by Dario Franchitti.

A well known, if not over used phrase comes to mind: “Life’s a bitch, and then you marry one, and then you join a Ganassi NASCAR Team.”

Yeah, go ahead Ganassi fans jump my butt. Before you do give me a plausible reason why a guy can have such a successful run in sport cars and IndyCar and suck hind teat on a boar hog in NASCAR.

In other news you can lose: Is there anything Kyle Busch can’t win at?

Kyle Busch and NHRA star Tony Shumacher raced a pair of street legal cars down Bruton Smith’s just opened Z-Max dragway Tuesday. Busch won all three passes down the quarter mile.

So, when will the new restrictor plate be issued?

I mean if NASCAR can selectively give an entire marquee a new plate as a result of a single teams Nationwide Series performance they can certainly give Sprint Cup Chevy teams the same after the #48 made a shambles of the Fontana field Sunday. Right?

They will won’t they? Or am I by chance wishing upon a dry well? (If you hadn’t noticed those were rhetorical questions - ed.)

But hey, it could be far worse than having a single team dominate as Johnson did Sunday. In fact it has been worse, far worse (at many times, at many places and far more wins than even Kyle has now), so be careful what you wish for.

Can we call the Fontana track snake-bit?

Sure you can lay some blame on piss-poor marketing - at least I do - and some poor scheduling by NASCAR that may be solved somewhat in 2009 but really, how else do you describe yellow caution lights falling onto the track, twice, anything but snake-bit?

It’s not like they were smacked by a careening race car, they fell of their own volition and seemed to fall as a result of the whoosh of passing race cars. Is that proof positive the new Sprint Cup car “sucks?”

UNDER THE RADAR: Anyone but me notice Robby Gordon’s slow inexorable slide out of the top 35? He sits in 35th a mere 18 pts ahead of Penske’s #77 - which may be his saving grace - and 55 ahead of the #00. And to make matters slightly worse he has to peddle a bit faster at this weeks venue where his average finish has been a tick over 30th. Oh… and Hornish has averaged 23rd is his short time in Cup at RIR.

IN OTHER NEWS: Frank Kimmel did his best Jimmie Johnson impression in the 56th Southern Illinois 100 Monday afternoon dominating on the one mile dirt surface. Patrick Sheltra was runner-up and ageless Ken Schrader, in his self-own Federated Auto Parts Chevrolet, finished third. That Scott Speed guy crossed the line in eighth and maintains a 75 point advantage over second place Roush driver Ricky Stenhouse, Jr in the points battle.

And finally… China wins, China WINS!

P.S. The small black object in the Fontana sun-setting sky in the image above is NASCAR’s newly formed Cheating Police Eye-in-the-Sky. Equipted with the latest spy gear, such as a civillian version of the U.S. Navys MAD Gear to detect magnetic anomalyies and other illegal subtrafuge by those EVIL “cheaters,” it will be in use at all NASCAR events from now until, well all… perpetuity actually. If that can be called a time limit.